Malaysia-Today.net | Bangun! The court’s in session
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
The following article is a work of fiction and any resemblance to people still living, already dead, or about to die is purely coincidental.
NO HOLDS BARRED
Raja Petra Kamarudin
Bangun!
All rise. The judge walks in and takes his seat.
Duduk!
All sit down again.
Case number 1651/09, the Shah Alam High Court, Public Prosecutor versus Mohd Azmir Mohd Zin, Ahmad Suhairi Zakaria, Mohd Hilmi Ni, Eyzra Ezhar Ramlz, Ibrahim Sabri and Ahmad Mahayuddhn Abd Manaf. Will all the accused please come forward and enter the dock.
The six enter the dock.
Okay. What is the charge? Please read out the charges to all the accused.
Yes, your honour. You, Mohd Azmir Mohd Zin, Ahmad Suhairi Zakaria, Mohd Hilmi Ni, Eyzra Ezhar Ramlz, Ibrahim Sabri and Ahmad Mahayuddhn Abd Manaf, are accused of dragging a cow’s head after Friday prayers on…….
Hold on. What are they being charged for?
Sedition, your honour.
Sedition? How come I don’t get to hear sodomy cases? I want to hear a sodomy case. Is there any sodomy involved here?
No, your honour. Only sedition.
How did they commit sedition?
They dragged a cow’s head to the Selangor State Secretariat building.
How can they commit sedition against a cow? Dragging a cow is not seditious.
It was not a cow, your honour. It was a cow’s head.
Of course you have to drag a cow by the head. I know that. You can’t drag a cow by the tail.
Continue reading here ...
NO HOLDS BARRED
Raja Petra Kamarudin
Bangun!
All rise. The judge walks in and takes his seat.
Duduk!
All sit down again.
Case number 1651/09, the Shah Alam High Court, Public Prosecutor versus Mohd Azmir Mohd Zin, Ahmad Suhairi Zakaria, Mohd Hilmi Ni, Eyzra Ezhar Ramlz, Ibrahim Sabri and Ahmad Mahayuddhn Abd Manaf. Will all the accused please come forward and enter the dock.
The six enter the dock.
Okay. What is the charge? Please read out the charges to all the accused.
Yes, your honour. You, Mohd Azmir Mohd Zin, Ahmad Suhairi Zakaria, Mohd Hilmi Ni, Eyzra Ezhar Ramlz, Ibrahim Sabri and Ahmad Mahayuddhn Abd Manaf, are accused of dragging a cow’s head after Friday prayers on…….
Hold on. What are they being charged for?
Sedition, your honour.
Sedition? How come I don’t get to hear sodomy cases? I want to hear a sodomy case. Is there any sodomy involved here?
No, your honour. Only sedition.
How did they commit sedition?
They dragged a cow’s head to the Selangor State Secretariat building.
How can they commit sedition against a cow? Dragging a cow is not seditious.
It was not a cow, your honour. It was a cow’s head.
Of course you have to drag a cow by the head. I know that. You can’t drag a cow by the tail.
Continue reading here ...
